A woman pushing a shopping trolley ducked into her local Travel Agents in Miranda, NSW on a Sunday morning for a brochure on ‘cruise’. She didn’t have much time, as her parking was about to run out.

Ashleigh, a novice in the store remembered her training and launched into some qualifying questions so she could provide the right advice.

However, this exasperated the woman, who wanted every single cruise brochure the travel agency had so she could “have a look at home, then come back to book later”.

Whilst Ashleigh looked through the cupboards to see what she could find, she asked for the customers name and wanted to know if she’d cruised before.

“Me name’s Trudie, we went with that P&O mob a few years back – they were alright” she shot back.

Shipfaced

“Will this be a family cruise?” asked Ashleigh, excited that she was getting some information now.

“Yeah, yeah, it’ll be the six of us and Grandma and Grandpa – they’re paying” she said with a snort.

“Oh, that’s lovely – well, if you liked P&O I’ll give you their brochure and you might want to have a look at Carnival or Royal Caribbean as well” replied Ashleigh, thinking her cruise warrior training was finally paying off.

“I’ll just staple my business card to the brochure for you, if you want me to check prices just let me know” continued the perky Travel Agent.

When Ashleigh went to the back room to refill her stapler, Trudie decided to help herself to a few more brochures off the racks, including Viking river cruising, Silverseas, Ponant, Yachts of Seabourn, Oceania and Scenic’s 2018 pre-release river cruise guide.

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“Oh, these companies aren’t exactly family friendly” Ashleigh pointed out.

“That’s okay, we might do another holiday in March without the kids – do youse have a bag?” Said Trudie

“Yes, of course – can I just grab your details so I can follow you up”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m in your system, we’ve done all our bookings here before – Offerman, Trudie T-R-U-D-I-E”

Ashleigh pulled up the customer profile for Mrs Offerman and could see that she’d been quoted on over a dozen holidays over the past seven years, but none had been converted into a booking.

“Oh, yes I can see here that you’ve had a few quotes with us. It doesn’t seem that you booked your last cruise here though, where did you sort that out?” asked Ashleigh.

“I just called the phone number on the back of the brochure hun – they took a deposit and I paid the rest off a couple months before leaving” replied Trudie, rolling her eyes.

“Why didn’t you book it with us?” asked an annoyed Ashleigh.

“Cuz you lot would charge me fees” Trudie cackled, thinking what a stupid question that was.

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“Oh, we don’t charge you extra fees… We can actually do better on the prices most of the time. We even have a cruise club program for our customers with bonuses like free onboard credit. Would that interest you?” replied the Travel Agent, keen to get a booking.

“How much discount?” came Trudie’s blunt reply.

“We’d have to check on sailing dates,” continued Ashleigh, before being cut off mid sentence.

“Nah, nah, I just came in for a brochure… I’ll come back and book with you later. Thanks Amanda” said Trudie, making a beeline for the door.

“It’s Ashleigh, actually” she said, but Trudie was already halfway to the parking lot.

Don’t worry Ashleigh, she’ll definitely be back.

Sound familiar? Share your thoughts below.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a KarryOn Comedy article and is obviously satire. It should in no way be taken seriously, unless you want to that is.