Long-Haul, Short-Haul, Mid-haul (whatever that is) or domestic – these are the seven basic #travelhacks to making sure everyone gets to their destination without a mental breakdown.
These tips may just preserve your sanity. You’re welcome.
#1 – Your bladder is OUR bladder
If you know you can’t hold it in – don’t book a Window seat. This is one of those moments in life where you can’t have your cake and eat it too – if you want this, book an aisle seat. Better yet, pay the extra and get an exit row.
There is nothing more upsetting than being woken up by a leg on a foot, entangled in a blanket, knocking over the half-opened packet of Maltesers – for the 6th time. Book the Aisle seat, you’ve got this.
#2 – Shoes are NOT optional
Keep them on. For the love of god and hygiene, please keep your shoes on at any time they are directly in someone else’s’ view.
Who doesn’t love a sneaky shoe break during a long-haul flight? It’s only when that shoe break becomes not so sneaky and all of a sudden your toes are invading the space of seats 25A, B & C.
Ewww.
#3 – You can’t decline a recline
The seats were made to be reclined and there is only a small window of time you get with your extra personal space.
The only rule here is to ask your neighbour (behind you) if it’s okay to recline. They may have a tray table down, resting their head on the seat or even be in the brace position for a good stretch. They also may be watching a show and need adequate time to adjust their eyes to the new position of the screen immediately on the tip of their nose.
This invitation to recline your seat should be a one-time offer though because nobody has time to ask a question when a nap is imminent.
#4 – Let’s play sleeping tigers
Do you remember that game that Pre-school teachers would play to make everyone take a nap?
Then, once you got older you realised it’s mostly just for the silence the Teachers need to get through their day? Well, the same rule applies on a flight.
Limit the chatterbox syndrome – if it’s not openly reciprocated. Everyone loves to meet new people but some people have been up for 36 hours and are desperately waiting for the solid 3 hours sleep they are going to get on the flight (if they’re lucky!).
#5 – Who let off the stink bomb?
We’ve covered off on feet but let’s be super clear – being in a confined space with 100’s of other people for a long period of time can be gruelling.
Imagine the displeasure you would face if one smelly odour wafted through the cabin… for 14 hours.
It happened recently and didn’t turn out well for anyone. Read more about that ‘farty passenger’ here.
Take a quick shower and if that’s not an option (or you forgot), make sure you have deodorant, clean clothes, wet wipes – anything you need to make your flight comfortable but also to make sure Barbara in the middle seat isn’t struggling to breathe with your misuse of perfume or cologne.
#6 – Incominnnnnnng!
Ok now you’re really pushing it
That’s how it feels every time someone gets down their overhead cabin luggage.
If you’re stowing your bag up there, let’s all assume that it’s too big and full of too much stuff to fit under your seat.
Get your important items at the beginning of the flight and store them in the seat-back pocket in front of you-you’ll be surprised how much food you can fit in there & how much happier everyone will be.
The best part of this strategy is you can enjoy your snacks without having to get all up in someone’s grill every time.
#7 – Don’t give out germs like Oprah gives out cars
If you only pack one item in your carry-on luggage, let it be tissues. Even if you’re not sick.
A runny nose could be the start of the cold you caught from the family of kids up the front as you walked through. If you sneeze, do it into the tissue. If you blow your nose, do it into the tissue.
The basics are very basic but you’d be surprised how often people think gems just evaporate because you’re 30,000 feet in the air.
They don’t – if anything – they spread so to avoid illness and spreading something you might not even know you have, be a good person and take some tissues.