A luxury hotel marketer in the Maldives has contacted us at KARRYON to tell us that yet ANOTHER Insta Influencer has contacted them this week about giving them a free stay.

The hotel marketer who didn’t want to be named for fear of receiving EVEN more requests told us that this latest inbox burster is already the 67th request this week.

It’s no secret that so-called “influencers” love a good freebie if they can snag one.

If you follow any of these cool chancers on Instagram, you will have likely have seen posts of them lying in a hammock in the middle of ridiculously beautiful turquoise waters, or shots of their toned bum cheeks at the edge of an incredible infinity pool to a backdrop of the Balinese jungle.

Influencer

@i’msexyandyouknowit_1999

“The last influencer who came to the property ended up having a nervous breakdown because she dropped her phone in the lagoon,” Said the marketer.

“We never saw her photos and haven’t heard from her since.”

“But I mean seriously, how many images of turquoise water and a big boobed hottie in a bikini and a floppy hat do we need?” she continued.

“And who’s looking at these pics anyway? Apart from my husband Dave that is, but we’re in counselling about that”. She said.

maldives

The cheek of it

The latest “cheeky” email request came from self-proclaimed Aussie Influencer @i’msohotrightnow92 who’s demands included;

  • A free 14-night stay in the BEST overwater villa on the property for her and her boyfriend (AKA photographer, bell/bag boy and emotional support counsellor)
  • A daily (MUST be French) champagne and organic fruit breakfast platter to be served on a flat lay tray by a shirtless, sculpted European hot male (aged 22-32 max and ideally called Juan or Romeo) and brought to the villa a wooden kayak (like the other photos she’d seen)
  • Max strength cocktails with tropical flowers in them brought hourly to the villa
  • A private helicopter (on demand)
  • Daily laundry and dry cleaning (To keep those whites, even whiter)
  • Six cases of chilled, organic bottled water, sourced in/at Source (not locally – ideally from France and some place called Source or Sauce?)
  • Thrice daily spa treatments
  • A golf buggy (Just because)
  • Two cruiser bicycles (For a photo only)
  • The entire back catalogue of Gossip Girl
  • A personal stylist to trail her around (discreetly) for the entire stay

insta-famous

In return, @i’msohotrightnow92 promised the luxury hotel two “sexy but subtle” Instagram posts a day to her “growing’ fan base of 126 wealthy” followers.

“I was like, err, are you effin’ serious?” Said the marketer.

The marketer went on to say that she instead offered @i’msohotrightnow92 the opportunity to stay at one of their other hotel brands, a three-star property on the outskirts of Sunbury near Melbourne but the Influencer insisted on the Maldives stay only.

“After a while, I’d had enough,” said the marketer. “So I said, “ok darls, I’ll meet you at reception when you arrive.”

“She’s still waiting there now,” Says the marketer. “Has been for two days,” she continued, laughing.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a KarryOn Comedy article and is obviously satire. It should in no way be taken seriously – unless you want to that is.

 

What’s your take on the world of Influencers? Share your thoughts below.