NO SWIPE RIGHT: Travel Agents Getting Left Out On Tinder

Dating App “Tinder” has just released their annual list of most “right-swiped” occupations for 2019, and once again, Tinder members who listed their occupation as “travel agent,” performed extremely low.

Dating App “Tinder” has just released their annual list of most “right-swiped” occupations for 2019, and once again, Tinder members who listed their occupation as “travel agent,” performed extremely low.

Coupled with the fact that the last, decent, single straight male left the industry a few years ago, things don’t look too good for decent, single, straight travel agents.

But… if you’re single, homosexual, and in travel, things are #$#$ing awesome.

Tinder Travel Agents

The list ranks, from most popular 1 to least popular 1000, the occupations of people that got the most right swipes in 2019.
For women looking for men, the 5 most popular occupations were:

  • CEO and Founder of Karryon
  • Pilot
  • Contiki Coach Driver
  • Doctor
  • Veterinarian

CEO and Founder of Karryon has been the most desirable occupation women have been looking for in a man since Biblical times. Said one poster on social media, “I’m married to the CEO and Founder of Karryon, and I am the luckiest woman in the world. Each day with this man is a blessing.”

For men looking for women, the 5 most popular occupations were:

  • Registered Nurse
  • Teacher
  • Personal Trainer
  • Flight Attendant
  • Karryon Writer

But for both genders, although the most popular occupations varied wildly, the bottom five remained consistent no matter what gender. The bottom five from highest to lowest were:

996. Director of Sales of a Cruise Line (Bald)
997. Telemarketer
998. Travel Agent
999. Assistant Travel Agent
1000. Anyone that works at Travel Daily

As expected, the job as Flight Centre Captain landed smack in the middle between Pilot and Travel Agent at 500, ironically tying him with “Jim Carrey Impersonator.“

Homosexual dating App, “Grindr” revealed that looks, occupation, age, wealth, and fitness were all inconsequential to their users, what mattered most was spiritual and intellectual connection, potential for a long term commitment, and shared interests.

Travel Agents, as you can imagine, were in an uproar over these results, with one agent from Sydney writing on social media, “How can they say travel agents aren’t desirable to be in a relationship with, I’ve been married 18 times and am working on my next divorce, so I must be doing something right!”

But, unfortunately, social media was dominated with stories of nightmare dates and horrible relationships that people had with not only travel agents, but with the entire travel industry.

The hashtag, #datas or “Dating A Travel Agent Sucks” has been the most popular hashtag in Australia and New Zealand for the past two weeks. A DATAS Facebook group has since started, and the comments have been pretty damning:

1. “He made me fill out a disclosure form on pre-existing conditions and pay a non-refundable deposit before we went on the first date.”

2. “She expected me to pay for dinner and unlimited drinks, and as soon as called out the winner of the meat tray raffle and she didn’t win, she totally smoked bombed”

3. “He wouldn’t date me until I gave him a written quote.”

4. “We were having a dinner at a really nice restaurant, and halfway through the meal she looked around, and then took the centrepiece and put it in her purse.”

5. “She explained to me that her blackout dates were on buzz nights, transfer days, end of year and mid-year balls, and if I took her out during peak season which included major holidays and weekend nights, the date would cost as much as 100 per cent more.”

Tinder Travel Agents

6. “She insisted that I buy insurance before we started sleeping with each other…and to be honest…I’m glad I did.”

7. “After we slept with each other the first time, I got an email from her with an invoice for a service charge.”

8. “After we slept with each other, she called up the rest of her team and boasted that she had a PB.”

9. “After I slept with this BDM, she marked it in SalesForce as a One on One Training.”

10. “The Trafalgar BDM wouldn’t sleep with me unless I used Gold Seal Protection.”

11. “After I slept with this BDM, he left immediately and said he had to sleep with 7 more travel agents that day to hit his KPI’s”

12. “He told me that he was an “Area Leader” which I assumed was his job title, but actually was his ranking for his area in how many women he’s slept with.”

13. “He seemed like a really nice guy, and then, one day, somebody said, “Hey, isn’t that your boyfriend on the news wearing DT’s sliding down a waterslide inside the Flight Centre Head Office Christmas party?”

14. “The BDM said if I slept with her, she would put me on an Antarctica famil, it was only afterwards I realised that Insurance companies don’t do Antarctica famils.”

15. “We were trying to make ends meet around her $45,000 annual salary, but I knew we would never get out of debt as she was spending $75,000 a year on coffee, alcohol, red bull, smashed avocado on toast, fancy dress, and Uber.”

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a Comedy article and is obviously satire. It should in no way be taken seriously – unless you want to that is.