An Australian flight attendant who shared her all in a recent online story was broken hearted yesterday to hear that everybody already knows what she thought were ‘Insider secrets’.

Low Cost Airline Flight Attendant Debby Maloo (24) from Woolloomooloo in Sydney’s East shared her click bait esque ‘Confessions of a flight attendant’ story via an unnamed online news publication, only to hear ‘duh’ as the collective response in the comments on social media.

“There’s a story like this every week in that publication.” Said @giraffe_ head13 on Facebook. “We’ve heard it all before.”

“The glory days of flying are long gone. There’s no more smutty stuff anymore like wild tales of 72 hour cocktail kissed layovers and all night benders in Cairns with a bevvy of hot crew members getting it on. These days it’s all about people who won’t stow their tray tables properly, safety video jokes or the captain cracking it because they’ve run out of tea bags. Boring!”.

Another comment from @gohardflyhard79 said “Tell us something we don’t know! Of course using your mobile onboard won’t make the plane crash. I was on Tinder non-stop on a flight from Newcastle to Sydney last week. I lined up 27 dates in under an hour. The plane was sweet as.”


Nothing to see here…

Aside from going into meticulous detail about the gruelling shifts and high level of training required on the job, Ms Maloo’s story included confessions on how the crews find wearing the hi-vis vests before and during the flight degrading as well as discussing the holy grail everyone wants to know about – The Mile High Club.

Ms Maloo was was keen to stress that she wasn’t a member and had only heard rumours from some of the older, more senior crew of other people joining “ages ago.”

“I’m a lifelong member of the mile high club” said @felixbigdawg3000 in the comments below on Facebook, “But you won’t hear that anywhere online. Good job no-one knows me, eh Teresa Allen from Sutherland ;).”


In total, there were 143 comments on the story ranging from “Zzzzzz”, to “Whatever”, “My job at Petbarn is way more exciting” and “I think the hi-vis vests are really alluring and have got a bit of a thing for them actually”.

Ms Maloo was said to be very sad and disappointed at learning the story wasn’t anything new and blamed the publication for egging her on to share her experiences. She is being consoled by fellow crew members tonight on a flight to Launceston.

Have you heard any new confession stories from flight attendants recently? Share your thoughts below.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a KarryOn Comedy article and is obviously satire. It should in no way be taken seriously, unless you want to that is.