So you’ve decided to join the men at work. You have a lot to learn. So to save some poor man having to mansplain it all for you, here’s a tongue-in-cheek woman’s guide to success.
Happy International Women’s Day. If you have the privilege to ignore the day, to make fun of the token gestures, or to celebrate with pink-iced confectionary, congratulations. Now let’s work on raising our sisters and building equality across the world. But first, something to make you smile (because we’re just ornaments after all).
The pay gap between men and women in travel isn’t as big as it is in other industries. But until the gap is less than what you make in airline commission, there’s still work to be done. And the glass ceiling is still holding up the house (we wouldn’t it want it to break because then we’d have to clean it up). But we shouldn’t complain. I mean, who has the time? After a full day of work, we have to rush home to get dinner on the table and get pretty for the menfolk.
But if you follow these handy little tips, you may one day be rewarded for all your hard work with a pat on the head (and hopefully nowhere else). And maybe if you’re lucky, a “good job, little lady”.
How to dress for success
Who doesn’t love to be told what shade of lipstick to wear and the optimal weight range to look nice in a uniform? A woman’s mind cannot be expected to make such decisions. But for those of us not lucky enough to be given uniforms: what should we wear to work? Well, ladies, the answer is simple: a full suit of armour. Not only will it protect you from any unwanted advances, but it also sends a clear message that you mean business. Plus, who doesn’t love a little medieval flair in the boardroom?
Office politics: play the game (like a girl)
When it comes to office politics, you have to be strategic. Speak up, but not too much. Be confident, but not too confident. And for the love of all things holy, do not let your emotions get the best of you. Remember, you’re a ‘good girl’, not a ‘difficult woman’.
Know your place (and volume)
It’s important to make your voice heard, but only when it’s appropriate. And don’t ever rock the boat or say out loud what may need to be said, but nobody will. Don’t interrupt your male colleagues or offer solutions to problems. And if someone dismisses your ideas, don’t take it personally. They probably just couldn’t register the high pitch of your voice. After all, you’re just a woman.
Success: is good (for men)
Ah yes, the classic strategy of pretending to not succeed as a woman. It’s like playing hide and seek, but instead of hiding behind a tree, you’re hiding behind your own achievements. Because who needs recognition and advancement when you can just pretend to be incompetent and watch your male colleagues get promoted instead?
Travel: can you really be away from the home?
Sarcasm aside for a moment, it was once believed that women’s bodies weren’t meant to travel at speeds faster than 80kph. Our uteruses were thought to fly out of our bodies. But who wants to travel anyway? It’s just harassment on a different continent.
Promotions: only until marriage
When it comes to promotions, you have to be patient. Don’t ask for one too soon or you’ll come across as pushy. And when the opportunity does arise, make sure you’re prepared to work twice as hard as your male colleagues. After all, you have to prove that you’re just as capable as they are.
International Women’s Day is our chance to celebrate our successes and work towards practical solutions to what must still change.
It is also an opportunity to stand in solidarity with our sisters who cannot yet stand for themselves. So eat the damn cupcakes and be inspired by the amazing women around you.
