A recent passenger poll surveyed onboard a flight from Brisbane to Melbourne has proved that people really do think they will get off the plane faster if they stand up as soon as they hear the ‘ping’.

23 passengers standing up (two sitting down) surveyed on the flight were all asked one question: “Did they think they would get to the baggage carousel and taxi queue faster by jumping up as soon as the seatbelt light went off?”.

In response, 18 (already standing in the aisle) were in mutual agreement and said “absolutely” with other comments ranging from “I bloody hope so, I’m on a promise” to “The extra seconds are definitely worth straining my neck for” and “We better. I’m absolutely gasping for a ciggie here”.


It is indeed a mystery

French man, Alain Dupont (28) a tourist on holiday from Paris said he feared he may get “bitten by one of those hairy spiders” if he didn’t get off the plane as quickly as possible.

He went on to say that “I’ve seen those scary spiders on the Discovery channel and I’ve heard they live inside Australian planes. They are very scary to me”. He said laughing nervously.

One standing female passenger on being asked whether she thought she would get off the plane faster said “Probably not, but the guy next to me is a total creep and I can’t wait to get away from him” while another man was too busy gazing at his Instagram feed on his phone to acknowledge anyone’s existence.


Passenger DuPont said he did not want to meet this potential hairy passenger

Of the two passengers sitting down, one man wearing glasses half nodded whilst continuing to read a Game of Thrones novel while another elderly lady said “If only” and that she was “waiting for the wheelchair to take her off thanks to a recent lawn bowls injury”.

Clearly why people act like this is still a mystery to many with this form of bizarre human behaviour long being under the microscope of human biologists and scientists the world over. To date, no one has been able to come up with a plausible answer.

The BBC’s Sir David Attenborough, who himself once sat through a flight from Sydney to Cairns to study the behaviour could only say that “It was indeed a rather puzzling phenomenon and that he still had no idea why people act in this way”.

Sir Attenborough did add though, that:

“Buying a pack of Pringles, a Kit Kat Chunky and a cup of tea for AUD$30 from the in-flight “trolley dolly’s” was ‘a rip off’ but that he was astonished to learn that when it comes to Pringles – it really is a case of ‘once you pop you really can’t stop’ as people say”.


According to the useless report, all of the passengers on the plane disembarked in an orderly fashion in Melbourne with many of the passengers who had been sitting in the front row overtaken on the travelator by the others to the baggage area anyway.

Proof perhaps, that it doesn’t actually matter whether you stand up or not as soon as the seatbelt light goes off.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a KarryOn Comedy article and is obviously satire. It should in no way be taken seriously unless you want to that is.