Leaked plans for a new Australian reality TV show could question the way you think about being a Travel Agent forever.
The apparent sketched plans for a new Channel Nine reality TV show featuring Australian Travel Agents were found discarded on the seat of a train bound for Chatswood in Sydney.
The plans detail an “I’m a Travel Agent get me out of here” styled series to be shot in Bali which aims to push Travel Agents to the max with a series of ‘famil nightmare’ styled challenges.
According to the plans, sixteen agents will be selected for the show with criteria ranging from their career length as an agent to average drinks per week consumed and their recorded video response to “Do you have any specials for Christmas?” and “Thanks for your quote, but I’ve booked it myself online and saved $17.”
Once the final chosen group of agents fly into DPS together on JQ (with only 7kgs of carry on allowed), the drama will unfold.
After being crammed into a small, stifling hot Bimo (minibus) for eight hours with no air conditioning, mobile connection and a non-English speaking tour guide singing karaoke the whole way, the agents will arrive at an undisclosed location somewhere near Ubud in Bali at nightfall.
Trouble in paradise awaits
But they won’t be getting any sleep…
Instead, their first survival challenge will be to escape from the resort sales team who will aim to break them on arrival with endless sales collateral, handshakes and room inspections designed to “confuse and numb.”
Meanwhile, resident monkies will attempt to steal their luggage off the golf carts and an “agent mole” in the group will continue to ask endless, dumb questions during the room inspections.
There will be ice cold welcome drinks on a tray and cool towels, but they won’t be able to drink them without being able to first memorise and recite the resort (including conference centre) fact sheet off by heart.
Anyone who guesses wrong at this stage will be packed off back to the airport and sent straight back to work.
Extra Head office sales staff will be flown in to further ‘annoy’ competitors
The challenges will continue to build in difficulty with agents brought together in teams and include;
– Quad share rooms for all competitors with only one (broken) hairdryer supplied and an empty minibar
– An itinerary that will change every ten minutes without any communication
– The resort also filled with gloating online customers, all of whom who booked on Webjet including THIS CUSTOMER
– A volcanic ash eruption and the Webjet customers then harassing the agents to change their tickets
– A resort bar that only serves ‘Mocktails’
– A DJ that plays a mash-up of The Venga Boys and Matchbox Twenty on repeat (this may appeal to some)
– No internet and the deletion of Facebook, Instagram AND Facetune and Tinder apps from competitor smartphones
– 3 hour-long detailed room inspections from 7 am of every single (23) class of room in the resort and function centre
An emcee has not been confirmed yet, though Larry Emdur has been rumoured to be in pole position.
Larry Emdur
On hearing the rumours of the show, a helloworld agent who didn’t want to be named said; “I’m so in. I’ve been on 46 famils in my time as an agent and I’m telling you – there’s nothing they’ll be able to break me with”.
Whoever wins the inaugural ‘Agent Survivor’ season will get to stay in the resort for as long as they like minus the Webjet customers and their fellow peer agents.
Stay tuned to KarryOn as more information comes to light.
In the meantime, if you think you’d do well in the show, contact editor@karryon.com.au with a recent photo (taken within 24 hours after your last industry function) and three reasons why you should be chosen.
Good luck to all!
IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a KarryOn Comedy article and is obviously satire. It should in no way be taken seriously unless you want to that is.