A 29-year-old travel agent from Melbourne is claiming to have met God and discovered the meaning of life after accidentally typing in the wrong command into his GDS. He now intends to start his own religion.
Gavin Kaboswki is just a regular travel agent. He likes to travel, play tennis and drink the odd pint with his mates. He was also an atheist, until last week.
In news that’s set to shock the Aussie travel agency, Kabowski is claiming to have spoken to God and discovered the meaning of life through his GDS system. In his words, what he saw displayed on his computer monitor last Friday afternoon was nothing short of a “revelation.”
After a busy morning putting together a $15k cruise booking for a demanding senior couple, Kabowski received an email from a individual named “Dee Al Mighty” inquiring about flights to Sofia, Bulgaria from Singapore on the 12th of December.
Turning to his GDS, Kabowski proceeded to type in a flight search command into his system, but in the last few moments accidentally hit a few extra letters before hitting enter.
Aware of his mistake and knowing the command wouldn’t go through, Kabowski waited for the cursor to reappear on the screen.
What Kabowski claims to have happened next is nothing short of incredible.
“The system paused for a moment, and then the screen flashed three times – it almost put me in a trance. When I regained my focus I noticed that there was a blinking cursor on the screen preceded by the words, Hello, I am GOD,” Kabowski told the Melbourne Wire.
“At first I thought it was a joke or something, so I thought I’d just play along with it. We’re always playing jokes with each other in my store, and it was Friday – things usually turn silly at the end of the week.
“But then it [the GDS] started telling me things about myself that nobody else knew. I mean, I’ve seen the Matrix dozens of times and at first it really scared me. It felt very surreal, like I was in a movie or something.
But according to Gavin, things were about to get even scarier.
“I was so freaked out about what I was reading on the screen, and all my colleagues were serving clients so I didn’t want to interrupt them for support. So I just decided to turn the damn computer off. But – here’s the thing: it wouldn’t turn off! I unplugged it and everything but still it stayed on. Somehow it was being powered from somewhere – something – else.
The details of what exactly happened over the next 27 minutes are blurry according to Kabowski.
“It’s going to take a long time to make sense of what I was being told on the screen. It was like talking to an excitable twenty-something keen on an ‘epic GAP year’ trip: it had so much to say and kept changing the subject all the time.
“It felt like all these incredible, life-changing insights were being downloaded into my brain. The next three days I had the sorest head ever – ten times worse than how I felt after last year’s Christmas party. But since then I feel different. I’ve started to take up yoga and I’ve turned vegetarian.
Kabowski plans to start a new religion based on the revelations he received on that special Friday afternoon.
“It’s hard to really explain what the meaning of life is, especially when it’s written in your GDS. Making sense of those commands is hard at the best of times! But what I will say is this: the meaning of life will be different for everybody. But travel agents probably already know that a big part of our mission on this earth is to travel. God, or whatever it was, was pretty clear about that.
Stay tuned for more updates on this incredible story as new information comes to light…
IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a KarryOn Comedy article and is obviously satire. It should in no way be taken seriously, unless you want to that is.