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Are you taking me for a stool?

With all the travelling I’m doing I just feel all HEAVY! The rise of “poo talk” and shedding light on airline food and why it's healthy to discuss our movements.

With all the travelling I’m doing I just feel all HEAVY! The rise of “poo talk” and shedding light on airline food and why it’s healthy to discuss our movements.

So get this. I was having a regular “coffee and a catch up” with a friend a couple of weekends ago when she told me that since she’d been overseas she’d decided she was going to make the switch to long blacks and had started to make a concerted effort to bring more fibre into her diet.

Why? No no. I didn’t ask why. It’s implied. But she continued: “I just need to be more regular you know? With all the travelling I’m doing I just feel all HEAVY!”

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, NO! Since when did a coffee become morning surgery with Dr Karl?

But it’s happening. “Poo talk” is becoming a thing. And, we’re told that it’s healthy. As we know, we’re all travelling more and this combined with a desire to be more open about our… movements (get it!?) meant that for this conversation, it turned to aeroplane food.

Did you know that you can talk about your poo on Twitter?

So what makes aeroplane food the enemy of our natural flora? Well it’s all the stuff that has to happen to it to make it palatable at altitude. And, that means that we’re in for having unhealthy choices made for us in order to adhere to food standards. And for it to taste nice.

Did you know that at altitude you taste less? This presents a challenge to airline food manufacturers that usually means that additional salt, sugar and fat gets added to make it taste well. Additionally food has to last a long time before being served which undoubtedly means that hydrogenated fat is used to stabilise food and make it last longer. Ever wondered how those bread rolls get so soft and squishy? Hydrogenated fat.

A lot of us know all of this, but why do we continue to eat anyway?

Are we hungry, bored or do we just like something for free? It’s probably a combination of the three.

Did you know that the word poo came from England and was coined in the late 16th Century? Me neither, but Google did. Google knows everything. So clever. Have you seen those self-driving cars? I wonder if anyone talks about their poo at Google. It’d be a “Poogle” wouldn’t it?

Now at this point in an article, I guess you’d expect to find a million tips on how to combat all of this evil and lead happy, healthy lives. Well, I’m going to give you two tips and you’re going to hate them – but they’re entirely true.

  1. Turn down the free alcohol
  2. Drink more water. 

There I said it!

What’s your remedy for post-flight bloating?