There’s no getting away from it – travelling is a beautiful thing where you’ll get to meet and connect with people from all over the globe. But what about those travel clichés? Who are they and what are they all about?
Take a look at any popular travel blog and you’ll get your fill of stunning sunsets, wrinkly-faced locals and cones of gelato held up against some beautiful scenery.
That’s fab – and I’m not going to take anything away from that kind of thing, because it motivates people to get out there and see the world.
I am however, a fan of telling it like it is.
Travel is the best thing that has ever happened to me, it’s how I found my girlfriend, my career and most of my friends.
It’s also turned me into a bit of a cynic. That’s okay though, because I have a sense of humour – and I can write blogs about it.
We all judge people because it’s fun and it makes us feel better and travel haunts make great theatres for this sort of behavior because of the huge cross section of people you get through the doors.
It also helps that you’ll probably never see any of them ever again. I’m talking hostels, hotels, backpacker bars, full-moon parties and anywhere that sells cheap drinks.
These are the worst clichés you’ll meet while travelling:
1. Frat Boys
What say we grab bite and a bird each eh?
Easily discoverable by a high ratio of popped collars and/or khaki shorts.
The Frat Boys have a tendency to bring their immature style of getting inebriated to just about anywhere.
If you ever need to get rid of them, mention a beer pong tournament in the next town over. They’ll be gone in seconds flat.
Favourite destinations: Only sanitised ones with good internet connections like the U.S, Europe and Hong Kong.
2. The girl that will believe anything as long as it’s not “mainstream”
“No I don’t want to do a bucket.”
This can apply to guys as well, but you’ll meet plenty of these earth children bumping around anywhere near yoga, juice cleanses and creepy old men who don’t own shoes.
They’re opinionated, often unhappy and usually good looking. The great irony is that for all of their opting out of the norm and spiritual seeking, they’re often more egotisitical than anyone else.
Favourite destinations: Generally poor countries, India, Thailand (For the Hilltribes), Cambodia, Bolivia, Guatemala & Nicaragua.
3. The walking guide book
I am a nerd
Cue dorky bucket hat, plenty of pockets and an early bedtime.
This poor soul travels the world following other people’s footsteps. He or she would never dream of taking the path not travelled and can’t wait to update Tripadvisor about the shitty meal they had last night at the hotel.
Favourite destinations: Anywhere as long as it’s in Lonely Planet or Trip Advisor.
4. The recent divorcee
Eat, Pray, Love was probably the idea she had in mind.
Unlucky for whomever she’s cornered after a few Thai buckets. This chick is recently single and ready to mingle – however, her emotions might not be.
A younger bloke might think he’s found his Mrs Robinson, but after a few hours of listening to everything her husband did wrong, he’ll be off to find somebody a little less, fragile.
Favourite destinations: Eat, Pray, Love film locations (obviously), Thailand, Bali, Fiji, Vegas with her girlfriends.
5. The guy who’s way too old to be in a hostel
Hey girl. You know i’ve been everywhere right?
Full disclosure, I’m dangerously close to being this guy.
But if I’m living by Contiki’s rules, I’ve got a couple of trips left in me before I swap out hostels for budget motels. This guy loves to harp on about how well travelled he is whilst making twenty year old girls feel uncomfortable at the bar.
They’re also often very popular for their worldly ways which could also be a challenge depending on which side of the field you’re playing.
Favourite destinations: South East Asia whilst having a mid-life crisis
6. The “Authentic” traveller
Oh I love this hashtag!
This person is way too cool for her own good. She generally seeks “authentic” experiences by searching hash tags on Instagram and then replicating as best as possible and passing it off as her own “find”.
Also known as an influencer (to her anyway) they travel the world on someone else’s budget and are tipped to be the next big thing.
They’ll also look down upon anyone that chooses to do a bus tour, or any tour for that matter.
Secretly they actually like taking the cliché tourist photos like the Sphinx example above but would never dream of putting it on their Instagram feeds.
Favourite destinations: Anywhere ‘trending’ or a destination that was featured in Collective Hub Magazine
7. Footy trips
Do you reckon i’ll be right to get the club like this?
Similar to the Frat Boy, these roaming packs of mongrels are about as sexy as an accidental crotch adjustment with chili fingers. You wouldn’t think that groups of large, hairy men would know how to hold a tune, but singsongs seem to be a big thing for them.
It’s a shame the songs of choice are usually abhorrent, sexist and annoying to anyone else trying to have a good time.
Favourite destinations: Bali, Phuket, Vegas and Niseko in the winter.