Ever got a crappy souvenir? We hope they weren’t as bad as these. Some of these are literally sh*tty. Warning: some images may be offensive… to good taste.
Are these the worst souvenirs of all time?
We’ve all been there – your colleague or loved one comes back from a holiday after testing your sanity and trying to control your jealousy after seeing their holiday snaps on your newsfeed. Next comes the souvenir give away, a keychain, perhaps a magnet, but it could be worse. This list proves that it could be much worse.
These eight items will make you give a genuine ‘thank you’ the next time you get a souvenir teaspoon from your work mate.
1. These dirty birds – Forth Worth, Texas, USA
You must really hate your friends if you’re willing to literally bring them back a piece of sh*t. Fun fact: sticking pipe cleaner, googly eyes and 3 feathers on poo doesn’t make it a bird, although I’m sure this could pass off as contemporary art somehow.
2. This handy map of the London Underground – London, UK
I guess you can take it around with you, although you may get some weird looks trying to check for directions. Well, women are always saying they often want to draw a map for men to help them navigate their downstairs. I don’t think this is what they meant though. Pro Tip: Give this to your significant other and say the words “lucky you have a map down there, because I could get lost in there”. As you can tell, I’m not a huge hit with the ladies.
3. This coin purse – Cairns, Australia
Forget cow leather vs pig leather, nothing says sophistication like a good old toad coin purse. Now you can not only hold your coins but also freak yourself out every time you reach into your pocket. The one below has a handy key ring so you can always have a buddy with you.
4. These stylish boxers – Florence, Italy
Michelangelo’s David is a masterpiece of the Renaissance. The designer obviously thought we weren’t paying attention to it’s most important feature, his penis. You can fully enjoy David’s baby maker with these boxers. If you’re interested, according to some scholars, when viewed from a different angle, David’s face shows a state of fear and this is reflected in his penis. You learn something new everyday.
5. These ballsy Australian souvenirs – Sydney, Australia
We can’t go anywhere in the world without being asked if we have one as a pet, or if we rode one to school (the answer to those questions should always be a ‘yes’ by the way, followed by stories of misadventures your pet Skippy has with your other pet Blinky). What could be more Australian than kangaroos?
“Kangaroo balls probably” – Souvenir Designer
6. Because the last souvenir wasn’t very useful – Sydney, Australia
What would your mate do with a kangaroo ball keyring, they’re useless. Let them grab life by the balls as he opens his next bottle. That’s right, these are kangaroo balls bottle openers.
7. Fun times in Brazil – Porto Galinhas, Brazil
I don’t think i can write anything here that could make this image funnier. Proctology exam souvenirs from Brazil – so you can cherish those special memories you had.
8. These stylish earrings – Minnesota, USA
These earrings will probably not help you gain favour from your friends. They’re made of moose poop. Yes, please dangle these pieces of poop next to your face, it will please me.
BONUS: The main image of the golden poo is a Japanese Souvenir – but it couldn’t compete with actual sh*t so didn’t make it to the list
