Us Travel Agents tend to live by a different set of rules. We often put our work and clients above our own friends, social life and wellbeing – and we still love every minute of it.

It’s dedication like this that keeps our clients coming back and recommending their friends and family as well. (Not yet a Travel Agent but thinking about becoming one? Read this first...)

Keeping this in mind, there are a few funny “standards of the industry” that every Travel Agent will relate to – so here are a few phrases that you won’t generally hear coming out of a Travel Agent’s mouth.


1. I’ll definitely be on time for dinner tonight


We’re not going to kick our customers out of the shop at 5:30 just so we can eat – that’s crazy talk.

All those itineraries aren’t going to magically ticket themselves either. We’ll be staring angrily at the F11 button on our keyboard while our mates are ordering starters.


2. Just a water for me, thanks


I’m pretty sure if Travel Agents disappeared then the entire Australian wine industry would go with it. I mean, how else can we un-bunch our panties after today’s volcanic eruption, Jetstar’s website crash and hearing your colleague gloat all day about winning a spot on that Topdeck famil to Europe you really wanted?

We don’t have a wine problem – wine has a Travel Agent problem.


3. Yes, that special is still available


Ask me now

Let’s get this straight – a lot of people travel – and those people are all after a special deal too. So when finding availability on a 2 for 1 flight to Fiji in February excites you… Book it. Don’t saunter in two weeks later with a crumpled quote covered in coffee stains and expect us to find the same price.

We definitely recommended booking two weeks ago too – so don’t blame us.


4. Savings account


Hahahaha – savings? Yeah, good one! We work on commission, so it’s ups and downs all year. But when we’re up, we spend it up Jordan Belfort style. Friday night it’ll be shots at the bar for all our mates, bottles of Veuve on ice for lunch on Saturday and then why not book some Business Class flights to New Zealand for next weekend?

Suddenly it’s Monday and your bank balance is back to minus $15. But it was totally worth it.


5. You’ll be fine without travel insurance


At the end of the day, we’re not our clients’ parents. But sometimes we feel like them, especially when cowboy customers think it’s okay to visit Bali for a week without travel insurance.

Come on man – shout the extra $40. Because when you get stuck there with a hefty hospital bill or face a pricy medical evacuation, you’re just going to put some silly thing on Facebook blaming everyone else for your problems. Just buy the insurance.


6. Lunch break


I’d count myself lucky to spend 30 minutes outside the office with a healthy lunch. Our customers often have a chance to pop in on their own breaks, so we’re generally pretty busy from 11-2.

The 4pm food-court-special becomes a regular occurrence, and so does feeling like a bloated frog at the end of the day.


7. Last minute special


Just don’t ask. We don’t have them, they don’t exist, and you’re annoying. Airlines don’t sell empty seats for pennies – and your infinite knowledge of how business works and why it’s silly for them not to, will not change anything right now. So please book ahead – and when you don’t have the luxury of doing so – don’t expect a bargain.


8. December sale


I’m going to tell you a secret. Flights in December from everywhere to everywhere will be booked solid – overbooked even. So when you ask for a price in May and it’s within your budget just book it.

The price is only going to go up. You’re welcome.


9. I can’t match that online quote


It’s never been quicker or easier for us to match online competitors. Simply tell us where you saw it and if it’s genuine then we’ll come to the party!

Just make sure you’re ready to lock it in right away, okay?


10. I hate my job


I’ve yet to meet a career Travel Agent that doesn’t absolutely love what they do. We’re lucky to do what we do and our clients are lucky to have us.

If the 1999 predictions were true and we did die out, it would be a catastrophe for travellers. So, when you’re ready to book your next trip – support your local Travel Agent’s wine fund!

And then there are 9 things Travel Agents need to stop saying right now!

Also, don’t miss Matt Castell’s article on what really happens on an agent famil and annoying questions Travel Agents are sick of hearing at parties.

Are you an agent? What’s the thing you never say?