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Oh, The Places You’ll Sell - A tribute to Dr. Seuss

O'Captain is back and this week he pays tribute to Harry Helliwell, to everyone who has committed their lives to travel, and to the greatest travel book of all time, Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”

O’Captain is back and this week he pays tribute to Harry Helliwell, to everyone who has committed their lives to travel, and to the greatest travel book of all time, Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”

 

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You’re the first stop to go places!

You’re the “A” in away!

You have stamps in your passport.

You have a badge on your chest

And you are the guy

Who knows which way is best

 

And soon you’ll help others start their journey

They’ll flock to you in person, email, text, or phone

Because without a travel agent,

They’re on their own

 

You’ll need to learn a new alphabet

You’ll need to be a walking encyclopaedia

But soon you will realise,

You have November Foxtrot India

 

At first, things may be difficult

There’s a whole world to be learning

But when you’re as brainy as you are

You’ll soon be turning learning into earning

 

And there will be a hole in your bucket list

And it will now be faster filling

But when you go like you go

It’s even faster spilling

 

Work hard, Play hard is how you’ll go

Not the beaten path, but the road less travelled

A path that will leave you equally ruffled and revelled

But unrivalled when all is unravelled.

 

OH!

THE PLACES YOU’LL SELL!

 

But, I’m sorry to say so

But, sadly, it’s true

That negatives

And complaints can happen to you

You’ll come to a place where your claims are denied

A place where he said she said and somebody lied

Where mind maker uppers can’t make up their mind

And after a four hour consultation, they then go and book online

Is it time to change careers, is this a sign?

 

You can get all hung up when a TTL is missed

Or when an PNR should have been Mr. instead of a Miss

When you booked Kosher when you should have booked Halal

And now both you and your client are going straight to hell

 

You’ll forget a visa, a vaccine, or final payment for some poor fellow

You’ll accidentally book a family of four into a Spanish Bordello

You’ll find out the hard way that Antigua the island isn’t Antigua the city

You’ll be filled with the most doubtful of doubt, and the most pitiful of pity

There will be mistakes to be made

And negatives that will need to be paid

But like you, an acorn can’t grow in the safety of shade

You both need to fall before you can rise

And get exposed to the elements before you reach the skies

And get crapped on and dirty and burned and wet

And only then can a go getter go get what a go getter should get

 

You will feel yourself physically starting to get old

whilst connected to a third world call centre waiting on hold

Por favor, comentar con la palabra ” ornitorrinco”

And your time will be at stop instead of at go

Your head will feel like it’s chock full of boulders

With the weight of a wait list heavy on your shoulders

You’ll lose all concept of time and space

And wind up in the most useless place

The Waiting Place…

For people just waiting

Waiting for the waivers to be favoured

And favours to be waivered

Or a payment to clear or visa to approve

Or a passport to turn up, or a cabin to move

Sitting around whilst you stand by waiting for the last seat

Those who sit on de-arse will wind up in de-feat

 

Everyone is just waiting

NO!

That’s not for you!

 

You’re the high flyer

You’ll get upgrades, lounge passes, and elite status on every cruise

And mornings starting with free coffee and nights fuelled by free booze

And free trips to New York, France, Rio and Egypt

And you’ll pinch yourself and think, “I can’t believe I’m getting paid for this shit.”

 

On you will sell

though the dollar may be low

On you will sell

though the ski fields have no snow

On you will sell

though ash clouds may create crisis

On you will sell

despite the likes of bird flu, liquidations and Isis

Just remember life’s great balancing act

Don’t allow your health and relationships to get bushwhacked

Your desire for success will indeed take its toll

There will be times when all is half empty, and not half full

If you don’t find balance, you’ll sacrifice your mind, body and soul

Lunch is more than a two shot espresso and a Vodka Red Bull

 

For those that have just started, and to those who have departed

But mostly for the most of us whose destiny is uncharted

If you are the first step in the journey of 1000 miles

And your measure of success is in the number of smiles

You always will succeed

98 and ¾% Guaranteed

 

KID, YOU’LL SELL MOUNTAINS!

AND OCEANS, DESERTS, CITIES AND VALLEYS

YOU’LL SELL FIJIS, HAWAIIS, HAMILTONS AND BALIS

AND CRUISES, AND COACH TOURS AND RAIL

AND TREKS THROUGH THE ANNAPURNA AND UP THE INCA TRAIL

YOU’LL GET SO GOOD AT SELLING, THERE WILL BE NOBODY THAT CAN SAY, “NO”

AND YOU’LL SELL ANTARCTICA TO ALASKANS, WHICH IS LIKE SELLING ICE TO ESKIMOS

 

So…

be your name Rainbird or Hoffman or May

or Pagotto, Castell, Van Schmal or Atay,

You’re selling Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your client is waiting.

Show them the way!

What do you think bout O’Captain’s take on Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”?