It’s been described as a one-of-a-kind time capsule for its vintage aesthetic and shabby-chic décor, but does the Zetter Clerkenwell, a 4-star boutique property in Central London, live up to the hype? Zoe Macfarlane finds out.
From the outside, the Zetter Clerkenwell looks like an unassuming row of terraced houses, a sign no bigger than my laptop indicating it’s a hotel at all.
Inside, however, is a different story. Under a multicoloured ceiling, a glorious clash of mismatched armchairs, stern-lady portraits, and more antique knick-knacks than the Portobello Road Market offerseccentric-lord-meets-hipster-millennial vibes.
This is ‘London’ without the clichés and tourist hordes.
First impressions
A soundtrack of Art Deco-era swing welcomed me at 8:30 am. I’d gone early, expecting to drop off my luggage before a day trip, but the polite host ushered me straight to my apartment.
There’s no formal reception desk – far too boring for the Zetter brand – but the young man sprang into action as soon as I entered. During my two-day stay, the staff’s presence was discreet: there if you needed something, but otherwise low-key.
As I checked in, my eyes danced over the eclectic decor. At every turn, something snagged my attention: a glass-topped coffee table filled with Victorian trinkets and postcards; quirky lamps and ornaments covering many surfaces, cosy nooks with antique armchairs and floor-to-ceiling bookshelves.
It was the taxidermy cat in a blue frock tucked in the far corner, however, that truly won me over. It had just the right amount of creepy to be cool.
(Plenty of) room
The Zetter Clerkenwell has 13 rooms across four room categories – Deluxe Double, Deluxe King, Junior Suite, and the Apartment – the latter being my home for the night. Every room is quirky and unique, though with decidedly fewer trinkets.
The Apartment was bright, bold, and very large, the kind of space you (or at least I) automatically spread out in. With a large bed at one end, desk and sofa in the middle, and table and chairs at the end, I could have hosted a gathering for 25 with standing room.
The six picture windows were great for people-watching over historic St John’s Square, though closing the Apartment’s blinds and curtains at night took some stamina (I’m being dramatic; there were six windows).
The bed had the right balance of firm without being rigid, with pillows that kept their shape overnight. As a light sleeper, an eye mask was helpful for the square’s streetlamp. The result was two great sleeps.
Born a Brit, taking a bath is as much a part of my birthright as talking about the weather. It’s the first thing I check out when I check in, and the Zetter Clerkenwell did not disappoint. The large claw-foot bath filled in two minutes, with the bath caddy a thoughtful touch.
A power shower, cute vanity area, and luxury Verden botanical toiletries complete the spacious bathroom.
Wine & dine
The Parlour is the Zetter Clerkenwell’s communal space, open daily from breakfast till 10:30 pm. It’s where you check in, guests can hang out, and the place to be as the sun sets.
Breakfast is a mellow affair with a continental spread – cereals, fruit, pastries – and one à la carte menu item. The promise of ‘rich yolk eggs’ on my gluten-free Eggs Royale delivered, with the most orange yolksI’ve ever seen.
I had the place to myself in the morning; however, on my return in the early evening, the mood was buzzing. Hotel guests and London’s cool kids filled the Parlour for its small plates and creative cocktails.
The low-lamp lighting and mismatched furnishings clustered into circles made the Parlour feel like many cosy living rooms, alive with the hum of excited chatter.
My chatter focused on how tasty the chorizo and Manchego croquettes were. Perfectly crisp, light, and moreish, had I not been walking off other London treats, I would have doubled my serving and added thecod fingers with chunky chips to my order.
Amenities
As a townhouse-turned-hotel, the Zetter Clerkenwell is not big on amenities. There’s Wi-Fi, of course, and umbrellas to borrow, but for your gym needs, well, that’s the whole of London, right on your doorstep.
Much better than a treadmill, I walked from Westminster to Clerkenwell, a 45-minute dash, and had a short stroll to High Holborn for M&S Food’s elite-level chocolate orange buttons.
Out & about
The Zetter Clerkenwell is ideal for travellers seeking lived-in London, rather than the tourist-trammelled routes. It’s still central – St Paul’s Cathedral and the Thames are both an easy 20-minute walk away – yet the lanes, mews, and local Londoners make it feel worlds away from the crowds.
Culture-wise, the Barbican Centre is close, and for a glimpse of medieval London, St Bartholomew-the-Great Anglican church and the 12th-century Clerks’ Well – Clerkenwell’s namesake – are close by. The well is still visible through a window on Farringdon Lane.
Public transport is a major win for Zetter guests. It’s a short walk to Farringdon station, where the Tube’s Circle Line service and Thameslink trains depart.
The former gets you to the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, and South Kensington’s museums; the latter runs direct to Gatwick Airport and on to Brighton. My London exit out of Gatwick Airport was not only easy, but faster and significantly cheaper than a cab or ride share.
The verdict
The Zetter Clerkenwell is a 4-star property, worthy of five stars for originality. This is a character stay through and through, ideal for any traveller seeking to feel part of a London neighbourhood.
Spaciousness is not often associated with London accommodation, making the Apartment ideal for parties of four or those who love to spread out.
Whether you’re staying, dining or drinking, leave the fuddy-duddies back at their bland hotel. This is a place for people who appreciate originality, bold colours, and the less orderly things in life.
I’ll be returning when I’m next in London. If for nothing more than to say hello to the taxidermy cat and order a double portion of those yummy Manchego croquettes.
The writer was a guest of the Zetter Clerkenwell. For more information, visit thezetter.com/clerkenwell.
