Love is a fickle thing: one moment we’re head over heels with our lover and can’t even imagine being with anyone else; the next we’re on the lookout for someone better.

And as great as Travel Agents are, even they aren’t immune to the tribulations of the heart.

In this article we’re not going to try to dissuade you from breaking up with a Travel Agent, although why on Earth would you when they’re not only bound to be extremely good-looking, charming and able to drink everyone in the bar under the table, but also able to whisk you away on exciting adventures at heavily discounted rates (or even free).

No, we’re sure you have your reasons.

This article is about how to break up with an agent.

Sure, you could tell ‘em your relationship has been HX’d and that you’ve found a better “deal” with another agent/human. But that’s just cruel, and you do not – I repeat – do not want to get in an agent’s bad books. This may be only a myth, but one story has it that a heartbroken agent once rerouted an ex’s Europe-bound flight to Baghdad during the conflict in Iraq circa 2003!

That probably isn’t true (feel free to tell us if you think it is in the comments below), but just to be on the safe side, here’s how you can break up with a Travel Agent the humane way.

 

TELL EM’ IT’S YOU, NOT THEM

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Agents are used to customers pulling the “it’s not that I found a better deal with another agent or booked it online (the truth), but I’ve decided not to go on that holiday I was so certain on just a couple of days ago (the lie)” routine.

Although agents are pretty damn good at knowing when a customer is lying to them, there’s always the possibility that they’re telling the truth, and they really can’t sip cocktails in Bali anymore. And it’s this small possibility that does wonders in helping them get over a failed enquiry.

So if you’re ever going to break up with a Travel Agent, do the same. Tell them you just want to spend time working on yourself or that you just need some time alone.

DO NOT tell them you’ve found a better relationship with another agent, or – God forbid – you’ve decided to elope with someone who works for Webjet…

 

DO IT IN PERSON

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If you’re going to cancel a relationship with a Travel Agent, then at least have the decency to do it in person.

Breaking up over email or a text is like being that customer who requested multiple quotes, made them sit on hold for ages, and ultimately took up a $hit load of the agent’s time, and then just sent them a mere email saying they’re no longer interested in taking that holiday – jerks!

Don’t be a douche. Be a man (or woman), and break up in person like a respectable human being. It’s the least they deserve…

 

LEAVE THEM WITH A PARTING GIFT (*E.G., BOOZE!)

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If you’re going to tear an agent’s heart out of their chest and reduce it to pulp with your stilettos, then at least leave them with a bottle of wine or whiskey to help soothe their souls.

Many agents (not all) rely on alcohol to help with the stresses of the workplace, finding comfort in a nice red or IPA or single malt. Help them help themselves in their time of need by leaving them with some booze.

Or better yet, don’t break up with them at all you crazy human being!

Have you ever had to break up with a Travel Agent? How did it go? Tell us in the comments below (talking helps)…