KarryOn’s O’captain is back and this week he’s tackling the list of demands from the new “Wholesalers, Home Agents, Travel Agents, BDM’s Organised Union Trade Members Exclusive”.
With the European Court of Justice, Europe’s Highest Court and much bigger than a Facebook petition, ruling that time taken to and from work at the beginning of each day now counting as working time for workers without a fixed office (aka BDM’s), and also ruling that any days a worker gets sick during annual leave can be used as sick leave, it was time for Australian Travel Industry to follow the EU’s lead, and to organise our workers.
And it’s time for you all to book a week holiday in Las Vegas as one day annual leave, followed by two days of sick leave, with one day of annual leave, followed by two days of sick leave, with one day of annual leave, with two days of sick leave when you return.
Finally, a law rewards binge drinking, problem gambling, all-nighters, and experimenting with peyote.
Welcome to “Wholesalers, Home Agents, Travel Agents, BDM’s Organised Union Trade Members Exclusive” or WHATABOUTME (Not The Shannon Noll Version).”
We are not a travel body that organises their annual big event the same night as Flight Centre Global Ball. We are not a travel body that organises monthly key parties for industry seniors.
We are a travel body that puts perks in front of profit.
At some point, the industry stopped looking after its perks. Canada 3000 gave away thousands of free tickets to Vancouver when they first started, Ansett used to pay their BDM’s double the industry standard,Kumuka had the famous sell one-get five free, and Air Australia had all comer trips to Bali and Hawaii.
Why can’t travel industry companies follow the paths of these visionary leaders?
To quote the icons of revolution, The Beastie Boys, “You’ve Got To Fight, For Your Right, To Party.” So following the EU’s lead, here’s what we’re fighting for:
WHATABOUTME (Not The Shannon Noll Version) Australian Members #24601 List of Demands
Demands For Airlines
1.A travel agent lounge, which “should be much better than the Qantas Chairman’s Lounge, and available to us whether or not we are travelling on that airline or not, or whether we’re travelling at all, and we should be able to get as many people in there as we want, seriously, what the $#$#.”
2.Automatic upgrades to First or Business Class. “It’s like that fish thing, give a man to fish, and he’ll have fish for the day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll have fish for a lifetime. Give a first class seat to a first class passenger, and they will get what they expected. Give a first class seat to a travel agent, and they will expect it all of the time.”
3.Issue Resolution: Agent and Supplier disputes will move from “He said, she said,” to “He said and now fix it.” It would just make things so much easier. Suppliers with off shore call centres will have to move from “He said, I don’t understand a word she #$#$ing said” to “He said and now fix it,” as well.
Leave and Holidays
Image Source: Shockya.com
4.Maternity leave, Paternity leave and a day each fortnight for practicing becoming paternal or maternal.
5.Melbourne Cup to be recognised nationally as a public holiday. ½ day work at full day wage during Olympics, Rugby World Cup, and FIFA World Cup.
Other holidays will include Oscar Monday, Super Bowl Monday, Mardi Gras week, and Guy Sebastian’s Birthday.
And a public holiday for all Kiwi’s the day after the Bledisloe Cup because nobody wants to see those smug faces, gloating over the massive stranglehold New Zealand has on world rugby.
6.The day that gay marriage is legalised in Australia should be declared a national public holiday. I appreciate some don’t believe in gay marriage, I respect your right to an opinion, but no public holiday for you.
Pay
NEWS — Noraneko Ramen
7.Time and a half when hungover: Is it not at least 1.5 times more difficult to get things done when hungover?
8.Double time when stripped of all dignity: Sending your BDM’s dressed like pandas or in lederhosen is going to cost you.
9.Triple time when hungover and stripped of all dignity: 1.5 x 2 = 3
Behaviour
10.The 6 after 6 rule: Can’t get fired for anything you do after you’ve had 6 drinks after 6 pm.
What To Do Next
For those of you who agree with the principles of WHATABOUTME, visit www.seek.com.au to start planning your immediate future.
Complaints, criticisms, and generally trolling, please enter your feedback at www.screamintothevoid.com which will allow you to express your opinion to an audience that will listen.
The Crest of WHATABOUTME
The Golden Eagle is representative of both the importance of flight in modern day global travel and also reflects the focus and wisdom that travel agents must possess to be successful.
The masts on the three masted schooners represent our heritage, our love of a journey and our love of the sea. The woman represents the importance of females in this industry; she is adorned in fine robe and holds a vine, symbolic of both our love of fancy dress and our love for wine.
The naked man urinating in the bushes whilst drinking free alcohol pretty much represents a naked man urinating in the bushes whilst drinking free alcohol.