“I’m going on a free holiday, I’m going on a free holiday.” That’s probably what goes on through your head in the days and hours leading up to your, ahem, work trip.
But before you get overly excited and reach for your phone to hail an Uber to the airport, spend a little time gathering the following famil essentials and pack them into your suitcase.
Trust me, you’re going to get a lot of use out of them!
1. A pack of berocca
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A free holiday is always complemented with free booze, and just like any mere mortal, Travel Agents cannot decline a free drink – or 12. Which inevitably leads to many a drunken night of revelry that’s also inevitably followed by a my-head-feels-like-a-semi-trailer-just-ran-over-it feeling the next day.
True, you’re going to feel the pain the next day, but that pain need not last too long if you dissolve a couple of beroccas first thing.
2. A battery operated alarm clock
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Following on from the free alcohol and all-night drinking sessions in the hotel bar, it’s possible that in the haziness of your drunken state you may just forget to set your alarm on your phone. Or, even worse, you may forget to charge it overnight.
Both of these oversights can result in a most embarrassing situation, where you finally crawl out of bed at midday and find about ten messages left for you down at reception, ranging from “where are you?” to “we couldn’t wait any longer, meet us at 3pm in the hotel lobby.”
Insure yourself against this by always travelling with a battery-powered alarm clock that’s set to always go off at 7am.
3. At least one collared shirt
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Okay, so this one’s for the dudes out there, especially those in their 20s.
As we all know, a famil is just a fancy name amongst Travel Agents for a free holiday. But there will be moments where you need to present yourself well, such as when dining at a classy restaurant, or when meeting some government official. So please pack a collared sheet.
And for god’s sake, make sure you iron it before you wear it. You don’t want to be known as Wrinkly William on the trip now do you?
4. Business cards
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Fool your friends and family into actually believing you’re going on an all-work-no-play “business trip” by making a big drama about how you can’t find your business cards in the hours leading up to your departure. Then miraculously find them, making sure they see you breathe a huge sigh of relief as you pack them into your suitcase.
Okay, so you will actually need some of these bad boys, but they’re more to convince others (and yourself) that you’re going on a work trip when we all know the truth…
Speaking of business cards, it’s also a great idea (knowing Travel Agents) to carry the hotel’s business card with you too, just in case you pass out on the town and a friendly local (in the form of a cop) needs to know where to take you home.