After the first season success of Channel 9’s Travel Guides in ensuring Aussie tourists are now unwelcome in most places in the world, the Travel guides are back with some new additions for another series of cringe-worthy adventures and endless cliches.
In the Season 2 premiere episode which aired last night, our five (not so) intrepid groups of Travel Guides this time jet off to Bologna, the foodie capital of Italy.
And as the trailer suggested, “After experiencing the best that Bologna has to offer, who will rave about this Italian gem and who will leave disappointed?”
The suspense was palpable.
But the Italian scenery was, of course, stunning, the food itself looked delicious and the locals were friendly and welcoming whilst our trusty Travel Guides (who are real people by the way in case you haven’t seen it) provided the larrikin entertainment that played out throughout the 45-minute show.
The guides’ Bologna experience this week included visiting the local markets, a pasta making class, experiencing a Ferrari racetrack drive, truffle hunting, visiting an Eel festival at Commachio just outside the city and attempting to be a gondolier as well as (almost) seeing the pope.
The Frens are back… Pic: Nine
“Bonjourno! Oh no that’s German.” The ever cackling and calorie loving Fren Family from Newcastle arrive at Bologna airport with a cargo load of luggage and somehow squeeze themselves and their 300kgs of luggage into an impossibly small Fiat. Then almost crash in the car park.
Walking the historic streets of Bologna they joke “We’re too fat to fit into these narrow streets.” And they struggle a bit more when it comes to trying to cram themselves into a low slung Ferrari at the racetrack. Later in the show, we see the ever effervescent dad, Mark Fren sinking his gondola in the canal to great hilarity from everyone else.
But the Catholic family worship the pope and after the complete disappointment of waiting for hours only to see an empty popemobile roll by, are all smiles again thanks to daughter Victoria who sneaks off to get them takeout Macca’s while they wait.
‘Travel Snobs’ Kevin and Janetta. Pic: Nine
Meanwhile, discerning Kevin and Janetta, the truffle loving, patronising ‘Travel snobs’ who love Italy so much they can’t actually remember how many times they’ve visited (only twice it turns out), are cheesed off by the size and quality of their shoebox hotel room, complete with a view of a construction site. “Definitely only 3 star” croaks Kevin with a face like a smacked arse.
Thankfully though, after a range of status boosting gourmet experiences, food critic Kevin proclaims to wife Janetta that “This is holiday Paradiso is it not?” while joyfully slurping his truffle oil infused spaghetti. “There are a lot of people who don’t like it though” replies former airline employee Janetta, to which Kevin responds with the classic “Well they shouldn’t be allowed to come to Italy”.
The Target Boys. Pic: Nine
New Travel guides for Series 2 ‘The Target Boys’, Kev, Dorian and Teng are the mummy boy millennials in the show, who (surprise, surprise) all work at Target together and still live at home. “We don’t do much at Target, except dance” states cringeworthy Kev. Err ok then fellas, you may need a new gig when you do get home. “Maybe the pope can bless us for a new job that’s not at Target,” Says Teng later in the show.
Describing the trio’s Chinese, Greek and Vietnamese heritage, Dorian says, “We’re the Asian sandwich with the white meat in the middle.”
Their awkward holiday nightmares begin at the racetrack when they realise that a Ferrari actually has gears and none of them has a manual licence. “Can we go through Maccas drive through?” They joke as the driver ends up driving them around the track like a parent picking them up from a party.
Fun loving outback ‘Identical Cowgirl twins’ Stack and Mel from country Gunnedah in NSW wear Stetsons and reel off an endless supply of true blue Aussie one-liners. “There’s only so much pizza and pasta you can eat”. Says Mel (about three times in the show). “When I go to Tamworth I go to Pizza Hut and always get the Meat Lovers with extra BBQ sauce. You got any Pineapple?” She asks the grimacing waiter.
‘The Cowgirls’. Pic: Nine
“We’d heard of Italy before, but we had no idea where it was. We knew it was shaped like a cowboy boot, and that was about it.”
The ‘rough n ready’ rodeo-loving twins manage to almost get themselves killed driving on the wrong side of the road and then Italian instructor Fabio too in the Ferrari which Mel drives at speeds even Daniel Ricciardo would have been proud of.
Also new for series two are ‘The Besties’ Taash and Mads, who are two chatty, fun loving nympho’s from Melbourne who are intent on finding some holiday action… “Even the garbo’s are hot”. Says Taash as they sit in the piazza perving on the local Italian men.
‘The Besties’. Pic: Nine
Taash and Mads really get into it when they go looking for Truffles in the woods and literally end up falling all over the Truffle guides themselves. When one of the guides says “The Truffle dog just wants to be cuddled and have some Mortadella (Sausage)” Mads responds with a wink. “So do I”.
So what did they all actually think of Bologna?
“Perfecto” Taash and Mads loved it, cowgirls Stack and Mel were not so keen “We wouldn’t really go on holiday just to smash food”, the Target boys decide they’re moving there (Target take note: See ya), the snobs ate too much (standard) and the Frens were content, apart from the Eel and the truffles, but the Maccas was sublime.
Overall, a big thumbs up for Bologna.
“Bologna, good on ya,” Say the Frens.
Whether or not this show is a good thing for tourism and outbound bookings remains to be seen but it certainly rates well for viewers and no-one could say it isn’t ‘entertaining’.
Stay tuned for next week when they head to the holiday isle of Bali. God help us all.
You can watch episode one here.