Work colleagues – we spend the better half of our days with them, forced into congenial relationships that hopefully blossom into genuine, cherished friendships that stand the test of time.
That’s the ideal, but of course, we don’t live in a perfect world, and sometimes, well, we have to put up with absolute nightmares-as-work-colleagues – the total opposite of an office BFF.
Here are three of the worst work colleague archetypes that unfortunately grace many an office around the world.
1. The food thief
The humble office fridge can often be something of a mystery. Sometimes what goes into it simply disappears – without a single trace. Is it perhaps a portal to another dimension? Is some other being out there in the multi-verse tucking into that cashew nut and basil stir fry you slaved over the night before, whilst you stare helplessly into the fridge that promised so much security? I mean, you even hid it right at the very back, behind the milk cartons, and surely it would have been safe back there, right?
Wrong. The fridge can be a portal, but it’s not to another dimension – it’s to your colleague’s stomach.
What you failed to take into account was the presence of a food thief in the office. These conniving scoundrels prey on unsuspecting victims like yourself, foolish enough to think that a little label clearly indicating your name and some ninja-lunch-box-placement moves would be enough to stand in the way between your food and the thief.
Not so.
These food thiefs are trained, ready and able. And hungry. You never really had a chance.
2. The perennial criticiser
These colleagues possess a “special skill” that would be awesome to have on your debating team. They’re somehow able, through the grace of God perhaps, to hone in on all the aspects of your job that ultimately sucked, shining the light of criticism on you so bright that you feel like cowering down in the corner and assuming the foetal position.
It’s quite remarkable in fact, and surely there’s a time and place for criticism.
But when your default position is to pick faults with a consultation or invoice, with no mention at all about everything that went right, then you’re a criticiser, and you’re ANNOYING! Sure, no one is perfect, and most things can be improved. But pipe down on the constant criticisms there partner – nobody likes a negative nancy.
Not even David Brent from The Office.
#stillloveyouthough
3. The annoying health nut
Okay, so you’ve stopped drinking alcohol, and you’re off the caffeine, and now you’re trying this whole Just Eat Real Food diet that you swear is the answer to all of your problems. That’s great, it really is. But nobody really cares about how good you feel, especially when you try and guilt trip everyone in the office on their fast-food lunches, sneaky afternoon chocolate runs, and after work drinking sessions.
Oh, and just so you know, those gluten-free muffins you brought into the office last week? They sucked. That’s why nobody ate them, not even the food thief.
