Been on a few agent famils in your time? Then you’ll have noticed a bit of a theme when it comes to human behaviour – Because agents leaving their everyday lives to go on free trips often turns them into strange beings.
Here’s part one of some the weird and wonderful people you’re likely to meet (or have met) out there in the world of agent famils.
You have to feel for the poor organisers running the trips, though let’s be fair – occasionally they can be the worst of all.
Ready for a few “aha” moments? We’re already behind schedule so let’s go!
1. The party animal/alco
This one is low hanging fruit and no doubt all of us can attest to loving a bit of party action on our famils. Good times! That’s what it’s all about right?
But drunkenly downing mini-bar miniatures on the bus at 8.30 am with the hotel slippers on and then spending the rest of the day out if it? Really?
Usually a ‘one fam wonder’ that frequently appears on www.passengershaming.com for a variety of anti-social sins.
Favourite line: “I’m only doing the room inspection if there are drinks at the end.”
2. Agent “You no speaka da English?”
This infrequent flyer gets annoyed when anyone who doesn’t speak English on the trip can’t understand what they are saying. Especially the guide.
Also can’t understand why the hotel staff don’t know where Bendigo is. Struggles to understand how this could be.
Struggles with the world in general. How are you a travel agent again?
Favourite line: “I can’t wait to get back to Bendigo.”
3. The know it all
Introduces themselves at the start of the trip by forcibly telling you that this is their 48th fam.
Compares every element of this trip to the 48 previous trips. Except that this trip isn’t as good obviously. Because “What would you know? You weren’t there.”
Sneers and makes fun of the guide and fellow group and is quick to correct anyone getting any information wrong with a scoffing laugh.
Favourite line: “Where are you from again?”
4. The ‘Oversharer’
This person just loves talking. Non-stop talking about EVERY single aspect of their life and of course everyone else’s.
You only met them at check-in with the rest of the group but already they’ve bailed you up on the bus and are telling you discreet details about their sick cat, a client’s recent affair and their partner’s lack of sex drive. TMI!
The biggest challenge with this person is keeping well away from them. But for some reason, it’s near impossible.
Also loves taking their inside scoops into the Group Whatsapp chat. #AWKS.
Favourite line: “Gawd they would kill me if they knew I’d told you that!”
5. The lost lover
Ahh, young love. Isn’t it the sweetest?
Not when you’re sharing a room with this lovebird who insists on recollecting every single moment of the trip with their significant (and jealous) other via Facetime and messenger at all hours.
From one pinging message to the millionth other, this sad sack proves true love shouldn’t be this hard or as annoying.
Often ends up with someone else on the fam by the end of the trip.
Favourite line (to significant other): “What did you have for breakfast/lunch/dinner today?” Groan.
6. The latecomer
This free soul truly ‘lives in the moment’ and is often late because of also being #1 but generally because they are disorganised and just a bit crap.
Unashamedly late for every agreed group meeting time, this person has also often forgotten stuff when they eventually do turn up. Like their passport. Or their pants.
Generally despised by the entire group after the second late-coming incident. Selfish?! Never!
Favourite line (While in Abu Dhabi): “Sorry guys hehe! I’m still on Queensland time!”
7. The Prom Fam Princess
This wannabe superstar just loves the centre of the fam attention (actually any attention). They’re loudly first up for everything on the trip and boy don’t we all know it!
Tada’ing and jigging from one selfie to another, it’s one big fashion parade with multiple outfit changes through the day to match the itinerary.
Come the evening, they’re the one literally burning up front and centre on the D-floor, leaving locals scratching their heads as to why they didn’t know Priscilla was coming to town.
Just don’t make them do stuff they don’t want to do or beat them in line for anything. This alpha fam lover has got so much sass they’ll strike you down with some bad juju vibes in a flash. Or just start crying hysterically.
Favourite line: “Hey you! Take another picture!”
Ah, don’t we all love fams!
See yourself in any of these? Shh, don’t tell anyone!
Did we miss any? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org with your favourites.
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