If you’re anything like me when you travel, you just can’t wait to speed through airport screening and get into the terminal for a refreshing bevvy and a pre-flight relax.
But there’s always ‘that’ jobsworth guy standing in front of the finish line isn’t there?
Wearing a chambray shirt and with swab in hand ready to hold you up for another 2-3 minutes and scan you for dynamite, chemical weapons or traces of his recently divorced wife’s perfume.
When you’re running late, it’s precious time lost and quite frankly an annoying addition to the travel experience. Especially when you’ve already been swabbed around 96 times in your travelling lifetime.
So unless you have been playing around recently with explosives (You haven’t have you?) you shouldn’t feel at all bad about deploying a strategy to bypass this guy and get to your (insert favourite drink here) quicker.
It’s the little things in life after all isn’t it. So how do you do it?
Easy. Let’s go.
1) THE GLANCE
Matt knows it…
Just like that scene in Ocean’s 11 where Matt Damon waits to start his con act against bad boy Casino owner Andy Garcia, a.k.a Terry Benedict – once you’ve gone through the scanner, casually wait as normal by the belt for your stuff.
As your belongings slide through the X-ray machine towards you, sneakily have a look up to see how many people are in front of you already picking up their precious KarryOn (See what I did there?).
If there’s already someone being swabbed, go like the wind and swing by them quickly as these guys seem to operate on an ‘every other’ basis.
Congratulations – you’ve won the race.
2) KNOW WHEN TO HOLD EM’
Kenny knows it
If however there’s no-one being swabbed or ahead of you right now – Hold em.
Stop, go slow and randomly tinker with your bag for a few seconds, maybe adjust your belt, helpfully stack a couple of trays and take your bag off the conveyer belt to kindly let others through ahead of you.
You wouldn’t want to hold anyone up now would you? Hehe.
3) LOSE TO THE ALPHA
Charlie knows it
If there is anyone in front of you – and there’s usually at least one Mr or Mrs Corporate Speedy Gonzalez (This used to be me), then watch on politely as you fiddle with your stuff and let that legend be the alpha to hurriedly beat you to packing up their stuff and taking off first.
Because…
4) BEAT THE APLHA
BOOM. As they race off ahead of you like a boss, they’re actually the one that will get the ‘excuse me sir or madam’ moment.
Whilst instead you casually breeze by after them with a smile and head off into the terminal for that now even more well earned bevvy.
Now who’s boss?
Works every time. Guaranteed.
Cheers!